10.26.2011

seven billion and another step towards the apocalypse

Egad... They can't be serious. Are we really hitting seven billion by Halloween? How aptly timed with one of the "scariest" Hallmark holidays. 

p.s. Did they really have to show hundreds of Asians on inner tubes? This could be photoshop; but, my experience suggests it's not since Asians have this personal space issue (not me of course). 


I'm not so naive to think a medical apocalypse is really on the horizon in my lifetime. I didn't buy into the swine flu or those other minor pandemics. However, it's best to be prepared (get your vaccines fools!). The Zombie Survival Guide (though fictional) appears to be the most rational in the post apocalypse-not-getting-eaten strategy.


The question--still unknown--is will the zombies be the Walking Dead or 28 Days Later type. 
  

The most important distinction being, can they run faster than me and also maintain somewhat humanoid dexterity. Crazy thoughts, you might be saying, but having a plan is the difference in me (and the plus ones) finding a bunker or me (but not plus ones) having to slaughter your zombie-turned ass.

These are things which might be helpful to master in advance of the chaos. 
  1. Drifting (see Fast and Furious) -- I need to quickly maneuver in and out of herds. Alternatively useful when a nabbing parking spot at the forever congested Central Market.
  2. Guns -- I leave this as general statement, no verb. I assume my piano and hoop skills translate to excellent marksmanship. Incidentally, I have never held a gun, loaded a gun, and have no idea where the safety is; I'm assuming these are all good things to learn. NO ALTERNATE USE for this knowledge. Since witnessing a bank robbery is the closest I'll probably get to a gun, I've decided to just stop using banks and rely on credit cards and online payments. Nevermind, I'll learn to use a gun on the fly. I like puzzles, this must translate.
  3. Water restriction -- I need to think camel or reptile, learn to live on very little water. I'm currently at drinking at the pace of an elephant. I'll supplement dry skin with expensive moisturizer for now:good alternative.

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